En blogg för mycket för världen

Idag bestämde jag mig för att göra lite nytta, besegra suget efter att bara ligga i soffan och kolla på tv eller sitta på Da Matteo och dricka kaffe. Det börjar bli dags att ta tag i sitt liv igen, och jag är peppad på det - innerst inne.
Jag undrar bara varför det ska vara så svårt att bli vuxen? Det är pressen och kraven, och allt man måste kunna och göra. Tänk om man står där som tjejen som kunde blivit nåt men inte riktigt räckte till.

Pengar är ångest.
Kärlek är komplicerat.
Bostad är nästan omöjligt.

Men i alla fall, idag bestämde jag mig för att sluta tveka och bara köra på. Jag vet ju vad jag vill, är bara rädd att inte nå ända dit på en och samma gång. Vad fan gör det? Ingenting egentligen. Det sitter ju i skallen. Det kan ju knappast gå mer än åt helvete och då får man väl börja om på nytt. Eheh.
Herregud vad jag ordbajsar.



Gick upp vid sju idag, åkte till sjukhuset och träffade Peter. Jag sa att jag skulle sluta vara dålig nu, eller i alla fall försöka leva som jag borde. Han tyckte det lät som en bra idé tror jag. Sluta vara bitter och inse att det finns saker man inte kan göra så mycket åt, sjukdomar, åkommor och trassel som inte går att bota med medicin men å andra sidan är rätt ofarliga.
På väg till bussen öste regnet ner och jag frös, men jag lyssnade på min ipod, dagdrömde lite och kände mig rätt glad. När jag kom hem städade jag lite och började fila på en ansökan till HFF. Nu har jag städat ännu mer, fått iväg alla mina "viktiga mail", fixat med bilder till hemsidan och tränat i en timme. Gött.
Min kalender är full av såkallade "skitjobb" den närmaste tiden, men jag får i alla fall syssla med nåt jag tycker är kul. Jag får i alla fall ha en fot innanför dörren hos lite roliga tidningar och människor.

Nu river jag ribban för det här var det töntigaste inlägget jag någonsin skivit tror jag, men whattöfukk.

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